• Mental Health

11 Tips to Stop Overthinking About Someone

When someone occupies your thoughts to the point where it disrupts your daily life, it can feel overwhelming and exhausting.

Whether it’s an ex-partner, former friend, or even someone who hurt you, the constant mental replay of memories, conversations, or “what ifs” can make you feel like you are in an emotional loop.

This kind of obsessive thinking doesn’t just affect your focus — it can take a toll on your mood, relationships, and physical health.

In the following article, we’ll explore 11 ways to regain control of your mind, shift your focus, and start moving forward in life.

Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Someone?

Repetitive thoughts about a person can stem from a range of emotional, psychological, and situational factors.

While this is a common experience, ruminating thoughts may become problematic when it disrupt daily life or your emotional well-being.

Below are some of the reasons why you may be finding it difficult to stop thinking about someone:

• Unresolved feelings: If the person played a significant role in your life, you may have lingering feelings of attachment, regret, guilt, or longing. Ruminating thoughts can make it easy for your brain to fixate on finding a solution to your emotions.

• Habitual thinking patterns: The more you think about someone, the more the brain forms neural pathways reinforcing these thoughts. This creates a habit of revisiting memories, even when you consciously try to stop.

• Idealization and fantasy: People often think excessively about someone when they idealize them. This often consists of focusing on their positive traits while overlooking their flaws. This is especially common after a breakup or unrequited love.

• Unfinished business: Unresolved conflict or unanswered questions can keep your mind preoccupied. The lack of closure may lead you to mentally replay situations in an attempt to make sense of them.

How infatuation may contribute to rumination

Infatuation refers to the intense, short-lived phase of romantic attraction that occurs when someone first becomes interested in another person. During this phase, feelings of excitement, longing, and euphoria are often heightened. It’s commonly driven by dopamine and other brain chemicals associated with reward, bonding, and arousal.

Because infatuation triggers a surge of dopamine — a chemical in the brain that activates when rewarded — thinking about the person may feel like a burst of positive emotions.

This makes the brain crave the emotional “high” of replaying memories or imagining future interactions. The intense feelings associated with infatuation can make it hard to stop thinking about someone, especially after the initial infatuation ends.

Is it Unhealthy That I Can’t Get Someone off My Mind?

Constantly thinking about someone may have a significant impact on your physical and mental health. Sometimes these thoughts become intrusive or negatively affect your ability to function.

It’s natural to think about people who play a meaningful role in your life, but it’s important to be aware if these thoughts are affecting whether or not you can complete everyday activities.

Emotional toll on mental health

When someone occupies your thoughts excessively, it may lead to stress, anxiety, or depression. These intrusive thoughts might cause you to:

• Rumination: Replaying events or conversations repeatedly in your mind can create a cycle of self-doubt or regret, which may increase feelings of sadness or guilt.

• Feeling stuck: Focusing excessively on one person can make it difficult to move forward emotionally, especially after a breakup or significant loss.

• Developing unhealthy attachments: If these thoughts are tied to idealizing someone, it may create unrealistic expectations or prevent you from forming other meaningful relationships.

Effects on physical health

• Obsessive thinking about someone may lead to: Stress and tension: Constant worry activates the body’s stress response which increases cortisol levels. Over time, this may lead to headaches, muscle tension, and fatigue.

• Sleep disturbances: Overthinking about someone may make it harder to fall asleep. Overthinking may lead to insomnia or poor-quality sleep.

11 Tips for Stopping Obsessive Thoughts About Someone

Dwelling on the thoughts of a specific person can take a toll on your emotional health. It can get in the way of focusing on your goals and things that you are looking forward to. 

The following tips may help you take control of your thoughts:

1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings

The first step to letting go is recognizing that thinking about someone who played a significant role in your life is natural.

Suppressing your emotions or pretending they don’t exist can end in distress, making thoughts more persistent.

Instead, give yourself permission to feel the emotions associated with this person — whether it’s sadness, anger, or nostalgia.

Keeping a journal can be a helpful way to process these thoughts and feelings productively. Journaling weekly gives you a space to release any recurring thoughts that may be bothering you.

2. Create boundaries and minimize contact 

If possible, reduce contact with the person or avoid situations that remind you of people who may have chosen to no longer be a part of your life. 

This might include unfollowing them on social media, deleting their contact information, or giving them space by not contacting them for a while.

Physical and digital distance provides the space you need to heal and focus on yourself.

3. Fill your time with meaningful activities

When your mind is preoccupied with thoughts of someone, finding fulfilling activities can help redirect your attention.

Consider engaging in hobbies you enjoy, starting a new project, or volunteering in your community.

Physical activities like yoga, running, or dancing can also release endorphins.  A release of endorphins may enhance your mood and improve your overall well-being.

4. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques like meditation and deep breathing can help you stay present and avoid spiraling into repetitive thoughts. There are apps and content creators who make guided meditations that are easy to follow.

When you notice thoughts about the person arising, practicing mindfulness can help you acknowledge the emotions behind your thoughts and move forward.

5. Reflect on the relationship

It can be helpful to objectively reflect on your relationship or connection with the person you can’t stop thinking about.

Consider writing down the pros and cons of your interactions, what you learned from the experience, and why moving forward is necessary. Understanding the reasons for your attachment can bring clarity and closure.

6. Seek emotional support from a mental health professional

Sometimes, the emotional burden of thinking about someone is too overwhelming to manage alone. This is where a healthcare provider who specializes in mental health may be useful.

Seeking guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor can provide valuable insight and coping strategies tailored to your situation.

Mental health professionals can help you address unresolved feelings, identify patterns, minimize intrusive thoughts, and develop healthier habits for emotional well-being.

7. Build new connections and strengthen current relationships

Another effective way to stop thinking about someone is to nurture other meaningful relationships in your life. Spend quality time with friends and family who uplift and support you.

Building new connections, whether through social events, clubs, or online communities, can also help you to accept the past.

8. Focus on personal growth and self-improvement

Turning your energy inward can be transformative. Set new personal goals, whether they involve advancing your career, improving your physical health, or learning new skills.

Personal growth fosters a sense of accomplishment and can gradually balance how often you think about the person.

9. Limit rumination through distraction

If you find yourself ruminating or hearing the person’s voice in your head, try quick distractions like reading a book, watching a movie, or solving puzzles.

These activities require active mental engagement and can help interrupt the cycle of repetitive thoughts. Over time, practicing distraction techniques may reduce the frequency of intrusive thoughts.

10. Develop a gratitude practice

Gratitude practices can reframe your perspective and focus your mind on the positive aspects of your life.

Keep a gratitude journal, listing three things you’re thankful for each day. Over time, this practice can improve your emotional outlook and help you let go of negative or unhelpful thoughts.

11. Understand that it takes time to heal 

Be sure to remind yourself that healing takes time. The intensity of your thoughts will lessen as you gradually build new habits and focus on other areas of your life.

Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this process, and you’ll see results soon enough.

Where Can I Learn More About My Emotional Well-Being?

If you have any questions or concerns about your emotional health and well-being, LifeMD can help.

We can connect you with a team of healthcare professionals who can provide tips for improving your mental health. 

Book an appointment today to learn how to incorporate more healthy habits into your life.

LifeMD makes it easy to stay on top of your health because talking to a doctor, filling your prescriptions, getting your labs done—and more—are all easy and cost-effective. Come discover a healthcare solution built around you and your life.

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